do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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