we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
