I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize