I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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