Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
