don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
