She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize