Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
