I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
