Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
