Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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