Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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