If that was your dad, he is hot
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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