Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
