Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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