also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
