So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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