if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
