She said her name was "party"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
