god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
