Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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