New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
