Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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