Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
