no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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