just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
