maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize