Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
