i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
