I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize