i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
