her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
