Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Four minutes until I can fart!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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