how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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