Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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