The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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