i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
