i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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