I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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