Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Randomize
