remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
