ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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