What a fucking waste of an outfit
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
