He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
