"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
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