If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
