he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
