dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
