Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
