dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
sex in a hospital.. check
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
