He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
