Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
