K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize