so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
