did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
