at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
