i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
