I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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