ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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