I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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