break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize