No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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