Where is the hickey?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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