I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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