Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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