That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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