I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
