sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
