I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
